What Makes a Dive a Dive?

What makes a "dive bar" a dive bar? According to Wikipedia:

A dive bar, or simply a dive, is a down market drinking establishment serving a working class (or poorer) clientèle.

The term "dive" dates from the London of the 19th century when younger men wanted somewhere slightly more risqué to spend their afternoons than the great clubs frequented by their fathers. They formed more informal clubs where they smoked and drank coffee.[citation needed]

The Shorter Oxford Dictionary indicates that in the U.S in the 1880s, it referred to an illegal drinking den or place of low repute, especially in a cellar or similar place. It has also been used to refer to opium dens. More recently, in Canada at least, it is associated with cheap and dirty accommodation (such as fleabag motels and run-down rooming), as well as with prostitution and other disreputable or illegal activities.

While most of this doesn't seem to apply to a modern day dive, I thought some other internet research was in order. I found multiple message boards and such with interesting things like: "a dive has no food and no windows", and "the bathrooms are what defines a dive", and my favorite "a dive is any bar with me in it". Since I don't think any of those definitions really helped either, I was forced to look inward.

Here are my thoughts on the "dive bar". To me, a dive is a bar that feels "non-corporate". By that I mean you find stuff like home-made menus, graffiti that never gets cleaned, bartenders and waitresses taking shots, a stool at the bar that has seemingly always been broken (and probably always will be), at least one sign above the bar threatening people with physical harm if they walk-out on their tab, a broken juke-box, etc...

Have you ever been drinking at a place where the waitress asks you to finish up your current drink so she can use the glass for your next drink? That's a dive.
How about those places with $5 pitchers of PBR or $1 pints of Natural Light? Also a dive.
Have you ever taken your waitress home for a night of drunken passion? Probably happened at a dive.
If you walk into a bar and someone is passed out sleeping at the bar with a drink in front of them, you've just entered a dive.
Can't find your bartender because he's back in the kitchen frying up your wings? It's a dive.
Does it seem like making it in the urinal (or toilet) is completely optional? I'm gonna say dive.

A lot of Corporate chains these days are trying to pass themselves off as "dive-esque" but don't let them fool you. You can spot corporate bars. Some good indications are: clipboards and thermometers (real dives don't do safety and temp checks), uniforms of any kind (stink of corporate identity), overly pleasant wait staff or bartenders (it usually takes a few visits for them to come around and treat you like a regular at a real dive), topshelf drink specials (like $1 off Grey Goose or $10 Beefeater Martinis), and clean restrooms (total corporate give-away).

I guess we all have our own personal definitions of what constitutes a "dive bar", but I think we can all agree that they have the best drink specials, the best company, and feel the most like home.